Papers recently have been full of bizarre speculation about what John Lennon would be up to these days, had he not been shot almost 30 years ago, on the occasion of what would have been his 70th birthday.

Lennon would have loved Twitter and abhorred the dubious industry has sprung up, we’re told, with most articles pointing the finger squarely at Yoko Ono for exploiting John’s image and legacy.

Vanity Fair has even published an ‘imagined interview’ with Lennon. Here’s an excerpt:

“Look,” he says, “every month is the anniversary of something that the record company can repackage and resell to you in re-digified-nanofied-retromastered form for a luxury fee. ‘Here’s the 47th-anniversary edition of the alternate take of “From Me to You” with John playing lead because George was off having a wee. Pre-order now on iTunes!’ It’s a con. But a brilliant one that keeps me in ruby-spangled codpieces and caviar hosiery.”

The interview goes on to cover his split with Ono; reconciliation with McCartney; and Everest, the Beatles comeback album (produced by Jeff Lynn) that contains a rewritten Day In The Life ’87 that contains the lyrics” “I read the news today, oh boy/ About a wave of boys who died too soon/ They wove a quilt out of their grief/ It’s someone’s life you rob/ When you don’t sheathe your knob.”.

It’s so risible it’s kind of beyond description, but it’s testament to the power of the Lennon mythos and its salability.

Liverpool, naturally enough, will be putting on a whole host of events to coincide with the former Beatle’s birthday, including a projection on the Albert Dock, above.

They’re bound to be a mixed bag, but the White Feather exhibition is worth checking out for a balanced portrait of Lennon through the mementoes and memories of his first son and first wife.

For our money you should simply seek out some of the old boy’s music. Isn’t that a novel idea?

• Details of the John Lennon Tribute Season here

• Thanks to Dave the Pap

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